When you are busy making other plans. It would seem, from the lack of updates that not much has been happening. That would be wrong. I haven’t felt much like writing and that in itself is an indicator that something is off. We’ve had: Preschool graduation. The Bean’s first “big …
It wasn’t a day of rest at all. I made dinner, a huge five hour dinner, for a couple of friends (had to put it off from last week due to Bean sickness) but it was nice. They are sweet folks. But, my Bean made me a card that said …
One of those days. I guess that actually having “one of those days” is a good indicator I’m engaging with the world again. But I would like to have missed certain parts of yesterday. First the bad, then the good. I called Hill’s Science Diet to talk with someone about …
That’s what everyone says. Except that now I should be in my second trimester, the honeymoon of being pregnant. And I’m not. I am trying and sometimes angry that people expect too much from me. I am trying and saddened that I can’t expect more of myself. I feel I’ve …
We’ll know more tomorrow, but the initial information is promising and the new Vets are FANTASTIC~! I believe we have found our long term association. If you will excuse a bit of deviation–with four cats and the tendency to invite more over, I/we get in a relationship with our vets …
It’s been two months since we were told something was wrong. It doesn’t seem that long, sometimes. Sometimes it seems like it happened to someone else. The sorrow, because sadness is too small a word, while not unending is always present. It’s still hard to see fresh wee babies or …
I just can’t feel better. I’m faking it a lot. I’m adding back in things that I’m supposed to enjoy. I’m trying to talk to people, trying to do things with people (though I often cancel at the last minute lately). But I just can’t feel better. I’m not sure …
Emily READ a book to her class today. Got up in front, read the words (stopped to sound out when she needed to), showed the pictures to everyone and explained what was going on. I’m so proud.
You say “I don’t know what to say, but I’m sorry.” You way “I’ll be around when you need me.” You don’t say “Oh you can try again.” You don’t say nothing at all and disappear. And you understand. That your friend might be unable to see you (or anyone) …
I went to read at the Bean’s school today. It was wonderful. It is something that makes me so happy I feel all the dark places inside fill up for just a little while. Afterwards the kids all gave me big hugs in a huge pile on and then individually. …
Friedrich Nietzsche: Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man. Today was difficult. The followup at Parkhill to give voice to our bad treatment. That doctor was cruel and when it was outlined on paper, it was appalling. Maybe this will keep something similar from …
In an effort to get caught up on all the things sweet J couldn’t do while I was,well immobile? Catatonic? I went to the post office and did some grocery/sundry shopping. Post office. Pregnant woman Grocery? Pregnant woman screaming at her kids. Slapping them. Other place? Even more pregnant women, …
This is long,sad and morbid — perhaps too much, please just skip over if my situation is wearing on you or if you think I need to get over it and get on with it. It may not seem like a lot, things you do every day, have to do …
For Phoebe Still A Baby by THE COCTEAU TWINS Little Phoebe Who I’ve never seen Had you asked, I’d be right out And maybe In a good time Phoebe, then I’ll tuck you in How is it (Listen angel) You do (Listen angel) Run along and shine the world (This …
Last Ultrasound on Monday not good. The doctor screwed up in telling us things were good. And she was brusque and cold when we went back for the ultrasound that showed her mistake. Adding insult to injury. Tomorrow is another. We expect bad news. I’d be amazed at how much …
