I know I lived here. I know I had these friends and experiences. I have them all locked in my head. I remember some very very clearly. But there are very few pictures. There are many pictures of my friends, some of them I took, but very few of me. …
Time can take its toll on the best of us Look at you, you’re growing old so young Traffic lights blink at you in the evening You tilt your head and turn it to the sun Sometimes the TV is like a lover Singing softly as you fall asleep You …
Everyone is pregnant. Every blog that I read about miscarriage and infertility–they have either 1)recently had a baby or babies 2) are pregnant 3) about to give birth. I stay away from LJ right now too because there are new pregnancies and babies on my list. I am happy for …
Sometimes in your life you can actually hear the door slam and the window open. It’s been a shattering month. Despite the pregnancy losses, mortality and the simple dividing line between living and not, was never so obvious as recently. We knew that C was dying. We’d been visiting weekly, …
Miss Ninny August 2007 Originally uploaded by jyllianm I miss you miss ninny pop. It’s been a year now and we still notice our girl missing every day. 18 years wasn’t quite enough, but then anything short of forever wouldn’t have been enough.
~T.S. Eliot from The Wasteland Again and still it is hard to find the desire to say the things I used to say here without much effort. I have always written easily and frequently, until about December of last year. A horrid thing happened and simultaneously my desire to write …
Once again I’ll thank you for the pokes and proddings to catch up, to write more. We’ve had an eventful last several weeks, both good and bad. The bad is that my stepfather has returned to the hospital then been moved back to the skilled nursing facility. He won’t be …
And it’s been another while. I’m not entirely sure why. Some of it is just life and a lot to do and keep track of. Some is just …well I hope it doesn’t mean I’ve lost the urge to write. I hope it simply means that this is a “…sea-change/Into …
Every time I see another infertility blog announce a birth…I wait to see the picture of the baby, almost as if I don’t believe it. I think about that lovely babyhead smell, that incredible miracle looking back at you with sweetly unfocused eyes in which you can see the vast …
(the quote’s from Deadwood, only one of the most beautifully written (and yes I mean that) works on television in recent memory. ) Well, let’s see..I’ve passed the first set of tests. I had to delay taking them since I was on jury duty and couldn’t get excused. Jury duty …
I can’t believe the Bean has been with us for six years. It seems like yesterday that she was my little round headed baby with the dandelion hair. Then my muddy toddler, into everything with both hands and a big giggle. My preschooler covered in paint and chocolate. But now …
I’ve been really occupied with The big Goal, of which I am now 1/3 of the way through. I’ve not spoken of it before because I was more than a bit nervous about taking all the tests I’d need to take. I haven’t taken any kind of test since about …
My town has taken quite a beating recently. And it both angers and saddens me. By now everyone has read A Boy the Bullies Love to Beat up,Repeatedly. Or it seems like everyone. And the blogosphere has exploded with this story. Many of them condemn Fayetteville. I find that part …
~redacted~Now on an entirely different note…I absolutely despise the movie Napoleon Dynamite. I think it is mean spirited. It’s yet another movie that makes fun of misfits. Being one, I feel strongly that that sort of cruelty should really stop in high school. I do like his dancing scene though …
How long does it take to recover from a betrayal? I’ve had a few in my life. Some of them very early. One in my late 20s and several in the last 5 or 6 years. Other than the childhood ones, the last several have been among the worst. People …
I’ve got a new visitor tracker installed (it’s invisible currently) because Feedjit is opt out and I have some stalkers 🙂 I’d like them to know I know they are visiting. Other project going along nicely. Jury Duty tomorrow. I’m kind of looking forward to it. I’ve only been called …
