verb self-med· i· cate ?self-?me-di-?k?t self-medicated; self-medicating; self-medicates 1 transitive : to treat (something) by self-medication people who attempt to self-medicate depression 2 intransitive : to treat oneself by self-medication I ran out of quotes for the time being so now I’m trying definitions. It started with reading. I always snarked when I heard someone say their self medicating …
a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations. What happens when the song comes up on Spotify. 10th grade- Blue Öyster Cult Tenderloin and Vivaldi’s winter. I wasn’t ready to have sex yet, but I wanted to. He was beautiful. I still kind of regret …
Does this shit ever end? Do we just keep crossing the identity bridge over and over-adjusting and readjusting, putting on and taking off all the hats?
There is a time in every parent’s life, when you can’t fix much  of anything anymore for your offspring. Not because they are difficult, or angry or even annoying. Only because it is time for them to do the fixing themselves. Couldn’t walk into a new school for her on …
“There is always time for another last minute†― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather It wasn’t the best news, but we aren’t giving up. And it never gets easier. Mr. Teatime was named for a character in the Pratchett book Hogfather. Mr. Teatime, when he was a kitten was a tiny little …
I love graveyards. Cemeteries. Boneyards. Cities of the Dead. They are quiet. There is a story for every stone or monument. You can visit for a conversation or just to be. I don’t think I want my body to be buried–though that has always interested me. If I could have, …
Every time I think I’m going to give up with this long long long standing blog, I come back. This is a long one, hold on. Will it click this time, again? I don’t know. The last year and a half has been, well, large. Â Purging a lot. A LOT. …
The Winter Solstice is one of my most thoughtful times. I suppose because I spent so much time with darkness. That sounds terribly dramatic–and it was until I found a way to live with it.
Madness need not be all breakdown. It may also be break-through. It is potential liberation and renewal as well as enslavement and existential death.
~R. D. Laing
I was given one today. As we try to/prepare to/hope to move to Oregon (when this house sells) I’ve had things on my mind that give me pause. I am estranged from my family. Â This has happened several times through out my life. I’m not sure this one will be …
Sometimes you just let someone else’s music speak for you. (Thank you Abney Park) Why do the things we love Torture us more than the things The things we can do without? I can’t do without The things that you do to me But why d’you do the …
And so we may be here for another ..year? More? The start to the process didn’t go well so we are looking at all our options. I do know I am winding down what I can learn at my present position and likely need to look for something more challenging . Part …
I picked Em up from school yesterday and as usual, we talked about her day. It’s tough to concentrate when she doesn’t feel well, but she really tried and wanted to, she told me. I told her how happy I was to see her. She said “really Mom? you say …
It has been a long winter.  A very long winter. There have been actual feet of snow. There have been too many inches of ice. Many missed days of school and work.  I think it is 11 or 12 now.  What you see in these pictures isn’t actually snow, it’s …
Hello I’m Jyllian and I’m a cataholic–or more properly an Ailurophile. I’ve loved cats for as long as I can remember. I like dogs too, they are nice but cats have always been my favorite animal. They are independent and very much themselves–which makes it meaningful (at least to me) …
