I started off this morning reading some urban fantasy on my kindle and then moved to reading the debate going on between John Scalzi uber geek and less uber geek Joe Peacock (who designs Fark, that I used to like– well the politics and Caturday threads, but don’t go anymore because of Trolls and the capricious mods keep banning my husband) . Then after having enough coffee, the Bean bounded in and we started a new anime, Gosick.
And I realized, as I’ve been realizing over time, we’ve raised a geek. We kind of tried not to. So she wouldn’t have to suffer the way we did. Being a geek is easier, now, more accepted but she’s already at a level (teaching herself Japanese, preferring only subtitled anime, correcting my pronunciation of manga, reading her first Harry Potter in 2nd grade, starting Halloween with us in late August…etc etc)that most kids won’t reach until junior high. And she’s been telling us she’s ready to go to Comicon next year (we’ve just started taking her to conventions) and wants that to be our big vacation.
I went through a phase where I had honey blonde hair, hid my tattoos and dressed (what for me was) plainly. I retired the fuchsia hair and Mr. J put away his knee high flamed decorated tredairs. We tried very hard to fit in in Illinois and then again when we moved back to Fayetteville. Less when we moved back, I think because a bit of the rebelliousness of my youth resurfaced and I started caring less about fitting in and more –which was the main goal the entire time–of not scaring off the parents of potential friends for the Bean. Sometimes people have a hard time seeing past the outside to the fact that Mr. J and I are actually pretty quiet, kind and decent people who just happen to *really love* Halloween, Science Fiction, gaming, reading, anime and other things along those lines. And have for many many years. It is possible for both of us to be entirely presentable, and we have, it’s just most of the time well…I guess you could say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we behold things differently. No judgment on those less flamboyantly attired at all. I’ve learned we’re all interesting in our own ways. Some folks look a bit odd like me. Some ride motorcycles fiercely. Some garden maniacally. Some craft like all the demons of heck are after them. It’s all cool. At least it is with me and I hope someday it will be with "them". It is much better than it used to be.
And I actually care a lot less about "them" so that makes it easier. It’s not even that we’re weird so much anymore (though I’m sure we are to some) it’s just that we are ourselves, plain and simple.
So the upshot of this is I got Em a Kuroshitsuji poster from Japan. And we had to go to hobby lobby to have it framed. I both like and don’t like hobby lobby. I don’t like that they demonize Halloween, which just happens to be our anniversary and a wonderful day when you get to dress up and get free candy and maybe get a bit spooked. There’s nothing evil in how we celebrate Halloween. I also don’t appreciate their agenda. I’ll leave that there. But I do appreciate the selection of craft items and that I can get a picture framed there pretty quickly. I honestly don’t know where else to go (still relearning Fayetteville). But while we were there getting this very Japanese poster framed, and Em was being thrilled (she has a crush on Sebastian, who reminds her of Daddy–because Sebastian always takes care of Ciel and can always save the day) and I just kind of said…well we kind of tried for you not to be a geek, but I’m afraid you were doomed. This was said very affectionately. And she answered
"But Mom, being a Geek is great!" and I said yeah it is. And the guy fixing up our frame said "In my day it was transformers and I really like Star Trek" and my daughter immediately outed me as a Trekker. And then we all talked about how Spock was my hero and how I’ve met all or nearly all of every cast at one point or another. And it was a kind and good exchange.
And then we went to check out. And Em was so excited she couldn’t stop talking and the girl checking us out…was into Anime. And she asked if we were going to the convention in Fort Smith. And we were. And then she called over another guy who recognized the poster and said how good it was and how cool it was Em knew so much. And I explained she got to see most of it–not all because not all was suitable . And not one of them talked down to her in any way. They treated her as an equal even though she is in elementary school.
And thinking about the kerfuffle between Scalzi and Peacock and the luck we have living in a tolerant southern town like Fayetteville and how far geeks have come since J and I were kids-It felt good. There have always been folks show up in every scene who aren’t that into it and think goths or geeks or Rennies will be easy pickings for their beauty. I like to think that with some of them at least, our joy and kindness infiltrate their high level beauty and bring them over to our side. Once upon a time I was a cute geek girl. Cute geek girls have been around forever. And I think we’ve passed it on to another generation. And you know who gets to decide? She does, just like I did. The boys don’t get to determine if she’s geeky enough, she gets to decide just how far she wants to go.
In every way
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