Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes. Oscar Wilde

DECEMBER 17 – LESSON LEARNED

What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

The BEST thing? or The most important thing?

The Best thing I learned is that I have a brain. I felt uninteresting (and people reacted to me like I was in social situations when I said I was a stay at home Mom—and maybe I was )and kinda of blah until I got back in the full time job situation. Don’t get me wrong—I loved staying home with the Bean, and now especially since we are unable to have any more children—gladder than ever that I did—but I needed to go back to work. And I’m just as smart and capable as I was before I became a mom. So that is the best thing—that my skills and abilities didn’t atrophy just because I wasn’t using them all full time. And being a Mother made me a better employee—more patient, more willing to work things out, less high handed than I had been previously. And I’ll keep learning new things—even when I don’t want to because if I’m learning then I know my brain is working.

I learned that it is good to deal directly with your dreams. I’m glad I tried to be a secondary English Teacher. I know now that I really would have been good at it, but that it was in fact not the right fit for my personality or skills. I might like to be a tech teacher…maybe. I do like being involved with education—just not in the way I carried around with me for over 20 years. It was heart wrenching, exhausting and sorrowful. I was also elated and ultimately satisfied. I’m so glad I tilted at that windmill and emerged victorious (in an unexpected way) So now I have no regrets and will deal with the rest of my dreams in a similar manner. And quite possibly my fears because really—aren’t they often the same thing?

I have learned that John Barleycorn is not my friend. Probably never was. And luckily the older I get the less ability I have to indulge. At different times in my life I have been able to handle the drink, been not able, abstained for years at a time, moderated and just not had time. I’m in a period of my life where I just don’t have time or the inclination and that’s best. With my own personal history (not so much of drink but of trauma) and that of my family– well this is a good way to be. It’s taken me a long damn time to get here and it hasn’t been the easiest thing—but then life is a work in progress.