~redacted~Now on an entirely different note…I absolutely despise the movie Napoleon Dynamite. I think it is mean spirited. It’s yet another movie that makes fun of misfits. Being one, I feel strongly that that sort of cruelty should really stop in high school. I do like his dancing scene though and as J was flipping channels, we stopped to watch just that bit. And immediately afterwards there was a lovely song I remembered liking. I was so put off by the movie the first time I saw it that I didn’t remember to find out what the song was. This time I could. And now I’m wondering why I didn’t know about The Penguin Cafe Orchestra before? Their music is a revelation. It sweeps through me and tingles my brain and fills my ears with rolling lovliness. I want to throw on my biggest skirt and twirl in a field of flowers and fling handfuls of jackson pollock colors into the sky. The song from the movie–“music for a found harmonium” (redone in the movie by another lovely group–Patrick Street on Green Linnet) is more than gorgeous. Perpetuum Mobile and Air a Danser are so perfect they defy description. I want to laugh and cry and dance when I hear those two in particular. I swear I think about marrying J, kissing E’s head for the first time, helping my kitties take their leave and then seeing them in my dreams again. It’s like spending time in an afterlife I think.
This is music I feel like I’ve known all my life, only I haven’t. I’m only just finding it. I felt stupid for a moment for not knowing them before, but how could I? I was too young when their first album came out and it was on Brian Eno’s very obscure label. Those were the years of The Dead Kennedy’s and The Replacements, not instrumental music. But now, after many years spent in goth clubs and ren faires–well I guess I was ready for this. I just wish I’d known about them early enough to see them. I am awestruck when music makes my heart ache and exult simultaneously.
Take a moment and listen–with your eyes closed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvbCV6E0Wro
Sorry about not being pregnant. I know what you mean about not letting yourself feel too much. I Scarlett O’Hara my way (“I’ll think about that tomorrow”) through the end of each month and only let the sadness and anger come out for a day or two when I know for sure it didn’t happen this month.
That music is really nice.