December 4th 1989 – October 1st 2007 XCVII EACH that we lose takes part of us; A crescent still abides, Which like the moon, some turbid night, Is summoned by the tides. ~Emily Dickinson XXXVI I LOST a world the other day. Has anybody found? You ll know it by …
We tell each other who we were. Who we wanted to be. The ferocity, the grace and remind each other that who we are now should be, and is a better version of who we were.
The little girl was mean to the Bean again. “I only play with short haired girls,” then played with long haired and short haired girls, just not the Bean. Emily didn’t understand. “Why are some people mean mommy?’ And all I could say was “Because there just are mean people …
I didn’t write on the day or after. I did hear from a good friend (I won’t link her here unless she says ok, that pesky secondary infertility can well, suck)around about the date. No one else remembered except for her. Thak you C. Thank you. That’s more than I …
Hmm, yeah the entire recovering from massive oral surgery was way harder than we thought it would be. Seriously–I figured on four days max, but it ended up being two weeks. Then I got bronchitus. Then I got a cold. So did everyone else. I still can’t eat anything crunchy, …
if it weren’t so funny It would be quite the tragedy. Oh wait, it kinda is. Emily has the beginnings of pneumonia!?! And Thrush?!?! She’s on three medicines. She’s pretty damn cheerful but can’t stop coughing. How did this happen so fast? She had a little cough when I went …
I’m about to have lots of surgery on my gums and the bones in my mouth. And some other possible surgery or at least poking about in other places I’d rather not talk about. I’m going to be laid up for a couple of weeks quite possibly. It’s going to …
Of the president for acting like a toddler and holding his breath until he gets his way about killing the men and women of the armed forces in Iraq. He should be on trial for murder, because this war was begun under false pretenses and for revenge and to line …
When you are busy making other plans. It would seem, from the lack of updates that not much has been happening. That would be wrong. I haven’t felt much like writing and that in itself is an indicator that something is off. We’ve had: Preschool graduation. The Bean’s first “big …
It wasn’t a day of rest at all. I made dinner, a huge five hour dinner, for a couple of friends (had to put it off from last week due to Bean sickness) but it was nice. They are sweet folks. But, my Bean made me a card that said …
One of those days. I guess that actually having “one of those days” is a good indicator I’m engaging with the world again. But I would like to have missed certain parts of yesterday. First the bad, then the good. I called Hill’s Science Diet to talk with someone about …
That’s what everyone says. Except that now I should be in my second trimester, the honeymoon of being pregnant. And I’m not. I am trying and sometimes angry that people expect too much from me. I am trying and saddened that I can’t expect more of myself. I feel I’ve …
I usually can’t embed, so follow this youtube link for a wonderful vid about infertility “no less than a woman”
We’ll know more tomorrow, but the initial information is promising and the new Vets are FANTASTIC~! I believe we have found our long term association. If you will excuse a bit of deviation–with four cats and the tendency to invite more over, I/we get in a relationship with our vets …
It’s been two months since we were told something was wrong. It doesn’t seem that long, sometimes. Sometimes it seems like it happened to someone else. The sorrow, because sadness is too small a word, while not unending is always present. It’s still hard to see fresh wee babies or …
I just can’t feel better. I’m faking it a lot. I’m adding back in things that I’m supposed to enjoy. I’m trying to talk to people, trying to do things with people (though I often cancel at the last minute lately). But I just can’t feel better. I’m not sure …
Emily READ a book to her class today. Got up in front, read the words (stopped to sound out when she needed to), showed the pictures to everyone and explained what was going on. I’m so proud.