Lady Saw
I usually can’t embed, so follow this youtube link for a wonderful vid about infertility “no less than a woman”
My old Lady
We’ll know more tomorrow, but the initial information is promising and the new Vets are FANTASTIC~! I believe we have found our long term association. If you will excuse a bit of deviation–with four cats and the tendency to invite more over, I/we get in a relationship with our vets …
Where to go from here
It’s been two months since we were told something was wrong. It doesn’t seem that long, sometimes. Sometimes it seems like it happened to someone else. The sorrow, because sadness is too small a word, while not unending is always present. It’s still hard to see fresh wee babies or …
it isn’t working
I just can’t feel better. I’m faking it a lot. I’m adding back in things that I’m supposed to enjoy. I’m trying to talk to people, trying to do things with people (though I often cancel at the last minute lately). But I just can’t feel better. I’m not sure …
Wonderful Bean
Emily READ a book to her class today. Got up in front, read the words (stopped to sound out when she needed to), showed the pictures to everyone and explained what was going on. I’m so proud.
what you say when you don’t know what to say
You say “I don’t know what to say, but I’m sorry.” You way “I’ll be around when you need me.” You don’t say “Oh you can try again.” You don’t say nothing at all and disappear. And you understand. That your friend might be unable to see you (or anyone) …
Finding the good
I went to read at the Bean’s school today. It was wonderful. It is something that makes me so happy I feel all the dark places inside fill up for just a little while. Afterwards the kids all gave me big hugs in a huge pile on and then individually. …
Too Familiar these stages of grief
In an effort to get caught up on all the things sweet J couldn’t do while I was,well immobile? Catatonic? I went to the post office and did some grocery/sundry shopping. Post office. Pregnant woman Grocery? Pregnant woman screaming at her kids. Slapping them. Other place? Even more pregnant women, …
Distilled Sorrow
This is long,sad and morbid — perhaps too much, please just skip over if my situation is wearing on you or if you think I need to get over it and get on with it. It may not seem like a lot, things you do every day, have to do …
Goodbye little hope
For Phoebe Still A Baby by THE COCTEAU TWINS Little Phoebe Who I’ve never seen Had you asked, I’d be right out And maybe In a good time Phoebe, then I’ll tuck you in How is it (Listen angel) You do (Listen angel) Run along and shine the world (This …
and the descent
Last Ultrasound on Monday not good. The doctor screwed up in telling us things were good. And she was brusque and cold when we went back for the ultrasound that showed her mistake. Adding insult to injury. Tomorrow is another. We expect bad news. I’d be amazed at how much …
A little rain must fall
I didn’t get the numbers, I never do. I get rattled and forget to ask. I’ll ask on Monday. But they called back with some results from the hcg/progesterone blood tests . HCG is perfect. Progesterone is “a little low” Not “really low,” but I start supplementing today. Previously I’ve …
Good news
9 weeks today There was a yolk sack (sac?)and something in it. We’re going back MOnday to use the “good” ultrasound machine. They also made the appointment for my full prenatal visit with all the blood work, counseling and ‘financial’ discussion. I’m guessing if they want to talk money we’re …
Raising them right
So we’re all sitting around the breakfast table this morning (we’re lucky that we usually have breakfast and dinner together) and James and I are talking about Barack Obama. Emily asks who he is and we tell her we’d like to have him for President in 2008. She looks at …
Detachment
The stomach flu I had concerned the OB. So I’ll be getting an early ultrasound next Monday at a bit over 8 weeks. Throw some positive energy our way. I’d feel better I guess, strangely if I felt worse. I have been nauseous all along and had all the other …