Finding the good
I went to read at the Bean’s school today. It was wonderful. It is something that makes me so happy I feel all the dark places inside fill up for just a little while. Afterwards the kids all gave me big hugs in a huge pile on and then individually. …
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Friedrich Nietzsche: Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man. Today was difficult. The followup at Parkhill to give voice to our bad treatment. That doctor was cruel and when it was outlined on paper, it was appalling. Maybe this will keep something similar from …
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Too Familiar these stages of grief
In an effort to get caught up on all the things sweet J couldn’t do while I was,well immobile? Catatonic? I went to the post office and did some grocery/sundry shopping. Post office. Pregnant woman Grocery? Pregnant woman screaming at her kids. Slapping them. Other place? Even more pregnant women, …
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Distilled Sorrow
This is long,sad and morbid — perhaps too much, please just skip over if my situation is wearing on you or if you think I need to get over it and get on with it. It may not seem like a lot, things you do every day, have to do …
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Goodbye little hope
For Phoebe Still A Baby by THE COCTEAU TWINS Little Phoebe Who I’ve never seen Had you asked, I’d be right out And maybe In a good time Phoebe, then I’ll tuck you in How is it (Listen angel) You do (Listen angel) Run along and shine the world (This …
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and the descent
Last Ultrasound on Monday not good. The doctor screwed up in telling us things were good. And she was brusque and cold when we went back for the ultrasound that showed her mistake. Adding insult to injury. Tomorrow is another. We expect bad news. I’d be amazed at how much …
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A little rain must fall
I didn’t get the numbers, I never do. I get rattled and forget to ask. I’ll ask on Monday. But they called back with some results from the hcg/progesterone blood tests . HCG is perfect. Progesterone is “a little low” Not “really low,” but I start supplementing today. Previously I’ve …
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Good news
9 weeks today There was a yolk sack (sac?)and something in it. We’re going back MOnday to use the “good” ultrasound machine. They also made the appointment for my full prenatal visit with all the blood work, counseling and ‘financial’ discussion. I’m guessing if they want to talk money we’re …
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Raising them right
So we’re all sitting around the breakfast table this morning (we’re lucky that we usually have breakfast and dinner together) and James and I are talking about Barack Obama. Emily asks who he is and we tell her we’d like to have him for President in 2008. She looks at …
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Detachment
The stomach flu I had concerned the OB. So I’ll be getting an early ultrasound next Monday at a bit over 8 weeks. Throw some positive energy our way. I’d feel better I guess, strangely if I felt worse. I have been nauseous all along and had all the other …
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Retracing my steps
Nearly unable to write here or anywhere else. Because something large is on my mind and I’ve been holding it back. Well, I have a few things on my mind, but one is more important than the others. I’m pregnant again. Once again, I knew within a week. This is …
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no more words
Well here it is and I made it. It’s hard to tell from my stats (I have a global collection, it’s slightly obscure–guess I should get a hit counter) but I got a small bump in traffic I guess. I don’t think I picked up any new readers, but I …
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like he said
: I’m SO incredibly sick it’s just sad. And what time is it right now? It’s that time, that plot it on a chart, take your temperature, you have less than 24 hours or maybe it’s tomorrow who knows for sure and I won’t feel any better tomorrow. Isn’t it …
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Nablopomo fooey and post the third for today
So it’s silly but so far it looks like my site doesn’t show up often on the Nablopomo randomizer. I’ve had a few friends click it at various times and I just don’t show up. Guess I should have named my blog AAAAAAAAA Over here read this. Well, the whole …
