At different times a hollow space: A vague story told in Soundtracks A recent experience has caused me to contemplate the hollow space that must be within everyone but the most simple of us. Smaller at some times than others. More obvious at times and at times more painful. In …
Well the entries are getting closer together. The goal for next week is another entry. Or I may have three this weekend and the dam will have broken (I wrote that ‘damn’ which is indicative of my feelings without structured creativity). This actually occurred on my way out of the …
And I’m sitting here supposed to be writing. And I find I have less and less blog entries in me anymore. Some of this is that time in life. Words fail when your entire being is going through such huge changes I guess. At least that is one theory. It …
I haven’t had much to say. It seems it has all been said before or said better. I’m not the first woman to miscarry. It isn’t the third or fourth or 6th time, it’s the first. Actually the third, but the one when I was 20 –I didn’t know what …
Today we lost a pregnancy Sign of the Zodiac–Rasputina Do you beleve in the Signs of the Zodiac? Haven’t you found that the systems for Planning always fail? Can you avoid what gave Daddy his heart attack? Have you tried everything, anything All to no avail? I know what you …
That’s what it feels like. I note distinct differences in how people communicate in the various places I’ve lived. In San Francisco, everything was exagerrated, overstated and intense. It wasn’t just a “bad date,” it was a “horrific, mind numbing excursion into the underbelly of boredom.” It wasn’t a ” …
I’m sitting here twitching with too much coffee. The coffee we still get sent from Freed’s in San Francisco. Wearing perfume I have sent from another part of California (www. Blackphoenixalchemylab.com) and searching online for a cool dress for the Bean at a shop in New York, while working on …
Petting the cats at the shelter makes me realize what a blight on this earth many humans are. They had to put a sweet orange fellow down while I was there. He was sick and not getting better. But if someone would have adopted him he WOULD have gotten better. …
Well it was recently. This head, I have was full of bees. Angry bees. I have to say, that since having the Bean, my moods once a month have gotten so much more difficult to deal with. I used to have horrific cramps. Now I don’t so often (every few …
It isn’t that I haven’t had anything to say, it is just that I haven’t had the time to write. Which is both a good and bad thing. I should be doing some chores right now. And I’m guessing this being happy gets in the way of writing in the …
Just got back from the UU Fellowship. It’s a gift how much better I feel after each service. I’ve even offered to sing a solo part soon. Oh lord. Nervous about that. I don’t have what you’d call a ‘pretty’ voice. I sing tenor. Odd for a girl. I have …
Pete Townshend I was always here in the silence But I was never under your eye Gather up your love in some wiseness, For every memory shall always survive And you will see me. I am an animal My teeth are sharp and my mouth is full And the passion …
Sometimes I don’t like being a libra. There’s an easy hook to hang this whole thing on, when it’s probably not the stars, just my personality. And growing pains. We’ve gone from near isolation to whirlwind. I’m really grateful and happy to be a part of things but I”m feeling …
I hadnt seen him in years, more than 15 I think. I loved him once, with that desperation only a 17 year old can muster. He was difficult and strange and melancholy. And gentle though a rage seethed just below his carefully controlled surface. I know we took long walks. …
This is one of those de rigeur end of the year wrap ups. Yet I find myself rather loathe to write anything at all. 2005 didn’t suck for me as much as it has for others. 2004 was a nightmare, but 2005 brought with it our move to Fayetteville, so …
The Bean told Santa she wanted a pink scooter and a bouncy ball. No tears, a little shy at first and waited pretty well (with a few forays to toy stores) for 1.5 hours. We also ended up in line with some folks we knew and their little baby boy …