except how to live–Sartre Loooong time no write. First a dead mother and a last ever visit with the sister. Then a pandemic. Then a burnout. Then a job change. Then catching a bad Covid. Then …we lost Bartleby at 18 to kidney disease, cancer and age. He was just …
What you don’t know? There is *so* much you don’t know. It is all about the money. Every bit of this is about your money. How sad. How…ugly. And now you have engineered a repeat of what happened those many years ago, when you stood at that woman’s grave. It’s …
Justice There isn’t any. Or I’d be dead. And so would you. We have all gotten away with So much. Too much? Can you admit the truth to yourself? Can I? It is good Lady J is blindfolded She can’t see my angry eyes and crushed heart. I’d turn you …
The answer is obvious and the question not fully known. The path is clear and trapped with brambles. The cup filled with comfort and regret. It seems like one decision after another keeps having to be made. And by that I mean by me. Me, making decisions. I’ve learned …
The thing is that there’s always an underlying tension. You’re only ever one wrong word away from it all going wrong. You can never relax. If you don’t give  the due respect or adoration, or if you disagree , or whatever tiny trigger sets  them off, then you get at …
I guess my word for 2013 would be …tribulation? adversity? The prompt for this first day of Reverb13 is …Where did you start 2013? Wow. It’s pretty horrible, but then 2013 has been a pretty horrible year. I can say some things are better. Em’s  school is SO much better. …
We took a walk. The things you told me were like the things I told you. But then that gift and truth for me were not the same not for you. Did you lie because of love or expediency? What was your small lie lived forever …
Sometimes there are moments there are songs. Things that make you feel something. And you hear a song. It’s odd how much that song encapsulates everything that you were and everything that you are in your secret heart. I got together with two friends that hadn’t seen each other in …
OH damn. Damn damn damn. This is the wish. I wish I felt like I did during college or grad school, or perhaps even my first job, when I just knew I was marking time until it got good. And it did, get good that is. I had some amazing …
Well I did it. Finished one thing And quit the M.A.T. I started off this month joking, somewhat. kind of about ‘seeing how many times I wanted to quit.” Since I felt like the program was just too much. I didn’t understand how you could give everything the school …
for my classroom management course.Sigh. I did some cool things, had some great ideas. http://mrsmartini.weebly.com/ Also trying scribefire for this post. And considering deleting zotero since I don’t need it anymore. That would have been a somewhat interesting thesis if it hadn’t been the craziest way to put one together …
Sad, all the work I put into the M.A.T. program. It is good to have this though. I did this before all the yuck started. You know what’s funny? I started doing nablopomo this year, and said offhandedly…”I just want to see how many times I want to quit.” Huh. …
Must get newkitty Babbage to the Vet and fixed. He has harbls of DOOM. Babbage came to us from Woodland. When I was student teaching there a kid left him in the yard when she couldn’t bring him in. He was scared and would have been hit by a car. …
