The Rooted Word

Project Reverb prompt: “What one word could describe your 2014?”

My word for 2014:  I think it would be summed up as improve.  And I did and didn’t. I did do better about exercising until I was injured. I have improved the food we eat. I am coming to terms with the fact that I have some severe food allergies and can’t eat certain things.I have detached and also stayed detached. I didn’t accomplish everything, but I did improve. I am more present. Now if I could just feel less rushed. Less pushed. I’ve removed some things that were no longer serving and hopefully that will allow for it.

I’ve also become more accountable. I am willing and have taken responsibility for my actions and I am also expecting others to as well. If I can do the Mea Culpa Tango so can they dammit.

I’m tired of being taken advantage of. I’m tired of relationships that are woefully out of balance (for example…in 9

years this person watched my kid one time and complained about it literally for years (and E is not badly behaved, she was just little and wanted her mama) I watched her kid many many times. but I was just supposed to suck it up. When she was ill I sent her food, when I was very very ill I didn’t even get a phone call…like that unbalanced) and I’m tired of relationships where I’m supposed to make up for how the world has ‘shortchanged’ someone. Bah. Also I’m not going to act like some version of myself any longer. I’ll continue to be kind and polite but I’m not going to be embarrassed for being myself.

The word I used was “steady” back in December 2013. And if I don’t think about the blow ups. It has been. I’ve gone to work at the same job with nice people. I have steadily climbed the ladder of knowledge in what I do. I have been steadily improving my participation in the home again (more cooking, more organizing, less giving up). I’ve been steady in working with Em. I’ve removed intoxicants of any sort for nearly a year now which makes everything pretty damn steady.

Reverb14 prompt: “The idea of rooting down into your own personal beliefs and center of truth is an ongoing process, and many things can serve as anchors or roots as you move through life. What rooted or anchored you in 2014? And where do you want to put down roots in 2015?

E anchors me and J does. My friend M does. He allows me to refer back to happier times and  see if how I remember things is correct–because I have a few people who delight in gas lighting me about my past. My cats and their time in my life anchor me. The horizon that I look at has…

I want to be a part of the community I live in in 2015. I want to find a way to be a more extroverted introvert. I want to feel a part of…

I want to be living in the town I’m going to live in for the next 20 years please.  If I’m not getting ahead of myself the word for 2015 I hope will be involved.