The Year of the End of the World with Thanks

I’ve been gone awhile. The year ended roughly for me but more roughly for my family.

My husband’s father died and his current wife neglected to tell him There is SO MUCH I’d like to say about that, that I”d like to DO about that. But we’ll just leave the fact that she DIDN’T tell two of his sons about his passing …well as much as I’d like to go into excruciating detail about this woman’s issues, I won’t.

I’ve had to leave behind a job that I loved. That I cared about. That I wanted to be in for years.

Because they just aren’t ready for me or someone like me. Yet.

Maybe in a few years.

Seriously. I did more in a day than some folks did in a week. And everyone knew it. Myself included. And I got paid a damn sight less than the ones surfing the web all day.

So I got a new jorb.

Yep. More fixing. Less amorphous er..stuff. SO looking forward to it. I can barely contain myself.

I actually mean that. I’m great at fixing stuff and making people feel good about it and I want that.

I’ll write the sad song leaving the job I wanted to make a difference in …well in month or something.

I’ll write the happy song about the job I AM making a difference in in about a month or so too.

This year has brought me many strange moments. I’ve learned a lot about myself and even with how crazy work got that has been and will be valuable.

I lost 35 pounds by not eating shit. White bread, sugar, starches, processed crap. I can see my abdominal muscles now. I have a dream I will be oiled and posing in a year. No seriously. I actually do want to do that. And lift REALLY HEAVY things.

When I got all in love with music that I COULD NOT(allow myself to ) STAND way back when or if I did I hid to myself listening with a tape deck placed up against my mom’s bigass solid state record player setup. Looked like this. That click click and stutter. Ahhh.

And I found that same feeling on twitter again thanks to a few amazing tweeps. Like @slolife82 who not only validated my latent love for silly 80s pop but turned me on to new music

And to Jill C who gave me the present of the year. She gave me MAX RAABE. The band I’ve gone insane for. The band I’ve brushed up my German for. The Orchestra that sounds like what is in my heart, somehow. It’s pop and Weimar and big band and…everything I need when the day goes utterly off kilter. It sounds like the soundtrack me, right now and maybe with then too.

I can’t believe I didn’t always know him. She gave me what I always should have had.

And Paula from Don’t Be a pickle Bump for being a terrific friend and kind encourager. She gives me the desire to go back to my art, however limited my art may be (unlike hers). Which is something that Tui Snider does at her blog. I think I might have stopped writing this year were it not for these two wonderful women.

And @sataninsingsing for being a wondrous foil and gorgeous wench. We have burned up #wineparty with our possible nuptials and I’m still sorry I’m already married. Guess I should have said that up front (hee).

And then there is the famous @jillsmo who made me the best icon I shall forever need to use. A cat, with pants and a belt. First, She’s really freaking nice, second she’s funny as hell. and I’ve figured out she’s all like popular and shit. Second, she’s hilarious. Third, she made me a cat, with pants AND a belt. Also she’s really damn nice, I said that before but YEAH she is. . And you should READ her BLOG Yeah, Good Times.

@whoa_nellykins. Well what can I say. I wish I were YOUR tech. We could kick serious educational ass.

@snarklystreet I just adore you and KNOW you will rock the world with your big brain. YOU WILL.

Darklings there is more. I know I’m missing some of ya’ll and I apologize. Will you let me blame it on an excess of vino and allow me to give you your own moment in the coming year when I haven’t had such a shitty one?

@serrabellum you’ve been a good sister and friend. I know I’m as difficult as you are and I love that we care for each other

And HeatherRoni. We hated then we loved and now I just adore you. You are a fierce dragon wench that I wish I had more time with.

And my sister who is not all wired in and suchlike. I can’t tell you how happy I am that we are actually KNOWING each other. That we are loving and trusting each other. I love being around you and hope we can do it so much more and with your darling P in the coming year.

Perhaps I’ll give you more tomorrow or in a day when I’ve recovered from this red wine, but I have to tell you all—While I do not look like

I might actually feel like it.

PLEASE if I did not mention you it is due to 1 of a couple of things

my own rather being tipsy writing

two I’ve been all submerged in our bowl of cornflakes and not out there in the world as much as usual. Yeah that sums up the various issues pretty well. That is about to change.

Finally thank you to my husband and the Bean for being patient with me this year. It has been rough on all of us and I haven’t had all I wanted to have to give you. I’m so lucky to have you both.

Ok, so there you go. More important than my own navel gazing are thank yous. So These are they. And I know I’ve left folk out. You know me, give me a chance and I’ll just love all over you.

Here’s to ya.

May the saint protect ye-
An’ sorrow neglect ye,
An’ bad luck to the one
That doesn’t respect ye
t’ all that belong to ye,
An long life t’ yer honor-
That’s the end of my song t’ ye!