A fight for breath, an ache for home

aprilmoon_day13April Moon, Day 13

Oh so many things…
I wonder if I will ever be done with this moving process. I started early to make it easier on every one and myself–just to do a little each day. But that means I’ve been working on this for 8 months.That’s a long time.

I wonder if I will ever stop jumping each time the phone rings or a car door closes.

I wonder if I will ever feel fully at home anywhere. I think I did for quite a while in SF. And again here in Fayetteville– for a little bit –the first few years. Is it a fleeting feeling? Can it last?

It has to last because this will be the last state I move to. It has to be.

I wonder if I will ever get my energy back. It’s been gone for so long. I am working to get it back but so far not yet.

I wonder if I will ever

if I will ever

get to the top of my breath, easily and without fighting for it.


    1. it has to end at some point right? I’m thinking by this time next year it should be all finished, moving, renting and finding a new house to call home.

  1. This might sound kind of silly, but if I start to feel The Dread when my phone rings, I change the ringtones. It actually helps! Usually because I’ve come to associate a ringtone with bad times.

    I’ve done this after leaving bad jobs, and I did it after we moved Mom to assisted living.

    1. That is a really great idea Christine thank you. I seriously cannot wait to have you visit. Or to visit you. It’s been too long and you’ve always been one of those special folk to me.

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