a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations. What happens when the song comes up on Spotify. 10th grade- Blue Öyster Cult Tenderloin and Vivaldi’s winter. I wasn’t ready to have sex yet, but I wanted to. He was beautiful. I still kind of regret …
America is full up with insanity. I’m beyond shocked and disgusted at what was beneath the surface of what I thought was a basically good country, but in reality isn’t. The Tangerine Mussolini allowed the worst to come out of people who used to be at least nominally embarrassed or …
except how to live–Sartre Loooong time no write. First a dead mother and a last ever visit with the sister. Then a pandemic. Then a burnout. Then a job change. Then catching a bad Covid. Then …we lost Bartleby at 18 to kidney disease, cancer and age. He was just …
I think I’ll have to change the theme. It is gorgeous, but isn’t behaving or taking my code well. Or of course, my code is bad and it is rejecting it. Whichever. So my sweet boyo, Bartleby who is in a tie for the kindest cat on the planet along …
I admit to a sense of relief when Jackie died. Not immediately, of course. I was shocked and it was unreal until the time I felt my legs give way as I stood from taking communion for the first time in 20 years. After we got home to Eugene, and …
And the Cheese would be me. I’m likely not going to be too pithy tonight. I’m very close to speaking the truth. All of it? Most of it? So.. my crazy, mean, violent, abusive, sexually inappropriate mother cut me out of the will and gave just about everything to my …
Well it’s Spring Break in what passes for life right now. That sounds harsher probably than it needs to. Usually for Spring Break we make plans to explore Eugene and the surrounding areas, since we have only lived here four years this Summer. Em and I will go shopping for …
You can’t be an orphan when you are an adult. But I think you can feel like one. Or continue feeling like one. Now there are just two. Or maybe four or even six? C and I are the only ones left of this initial family. But we’re married to …
This year is tumultuous. I’ve had to stop some meds due to side effects and start (and then stop) others because of side effects. I’ve discovered a heart condition, possibly, and I’ve been approaching empty nest. I’m working on the calling of maternity –I wanted to have 2 kids at …
“Backward, turn backward, O Time, in your flight” “Stop, time. Stay just this way. But the future comes.” It is happening, it really is. My round-headed baby is nearly an adult. She has reached her senior year of high school. This has gone as quickly as time travel. I was …
Well then, it’s been so long I don’t recognize how posts are working on this newest iteration of wordpress. I really shouldn’t drop this on the floor like I have, over and over and over the last few years. I shouldn’t because … Well, why shouldn’t I? Honestly, it isn’t …
Oh good lord. I was worried last night. Beyond worried. As the evening went on and good managed to vanquish evil in many , though not all, places I felt myself exhale for probably the first time in two years. Now we’ll get our checks and balances back. Now the …
the dawn will break (African proverb ?) It isn’t all darkness and woe. Yes there is so much and those of us who are heavily empathetic are having a difficult time with the fear, sorrow, anger , racism, and misogyny that some of us (like I am) are somewhat insulated …
I know the way to be a writer is to write. I’ve told that to students. I used to write every day. Somewhere along the line, survival took over. I was working full time and going to school full time. I lived in a tiny apartment in a kinda bad …
For the first time in a long time, I had to delete a comment from one of my online spaces. I thought about it and wondered if I was being ‘too sensitive.’ * Is being too sensitive an actual thing? Or is this just yet another dismissive characterization for the …
The Winter Solstice is one of my most thoughtful times. I suppose because I spent so much time with darkness. That sounds terribly dramatic–and it was until I found a way to live with it.
