I cannot take any more; I’m so glad that I’ll never fit in; That will never be me; Outcasts and girls with ambition; That’s what I wanna see — Pink from the song Stupid Girls

So some of the crazy girl shit has started. One girl lies about something my daughter said (but she didn’t) to another girl and then they tell another and suddenly she’s ganged up on.

Or instead of saying oops a girl blames the Bean for her mistake.

And how about the old standby “I’m not your friend today, oh I was yesterday, but not today.”

I didn’t understand that when it happened to me as a kid (or even as an adult) and I still don’t.

Except now I have to explain it. Except that I can’t. So what do I tell my Bean?

I have to tell her that some girls are mean.

And that some girls (and boys)will feel bad that she’s smarter than they are. And that they will be mean to her because of that –and that no, that never goes away you just get better at dealing with it.

But I can’t answer “why not just learn from someone like I do?” or “why not just talk about it instead of being mean?

Because that’s logical. That is an adult way of dealing with things and she’s a kid and they are kids and sometimes they are mean.

And some people never grow out of that. But she’ll care less about it with practice. I hope she doesn’t have a lot of practice.

I find myself looking forward with trepidation to what’s coming.  She will not go through what I went through in school. We will protect her. As a matter of fact I’m going to say something to her counselor tomorrow and if it doesn’t get better she doesn’t have to go. I’m not going to make her summer crappy because of some meangirls. She stood up for herself, which is more than I could do at her age. She knew the difference between right and wrong. She just doesn’t really get it when someone isn’t kind for no good reason. Especially when she’s doing her best to be good to them.

Oh my baby dear. I’m here.  We’ll protect you. I promise. I promise too that being different isn’t bad, it’s ultimately good, even if it takes awhile. 



  1. Some girls are just that… mean. You know them as an adult… it is so very hard to see your child hurt at the expense of others while only wanting to fit in. You are good at life’s lessons, and I know you will steer her in the right direction. Mean girls do exist. I have my own horror stories as a bullied upon (only white girl) in a 99% Hispanic community circa 1980. Let her know that we survive, and the mean girls get what they deserve a little later in life.

  2. Jyllian, please make sure she knows that it gets better. The mean girls don’t run everything forever, and she will have people who love her. I know this from personal experience, and I know you do, too.

    *hug to Emily*

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