The thing is that there’s always an underlying tension. You’re only ever one wrong word away from it all going wrong. You can never relax. If you don’t give  the due respect or adoration, or if you disagree , or whatever tiny trigger sets  them off, then you get at best a cooling-off, and at worst, a bout of rage

You need to play by the rules, and then all is well.

Just never, ever EVER protest any treatment you get. The nice things are a favour doled out to you by  grace and favour. You actually have no rights. And if you try to assert rights – well, the fun is over and you’re put back in your box.

If you google it you will find that this is a paraphrased quote.  I’m not putting where it’s from because I’m just enough concerned about some of the behavior I’ve been seeing. I’ve talked about this pattern for years.


They rail at me about why I can’t leave the past in the past…it is because it is in the present too. But something broke this time.  Have you ever taken a paperclip and bent it to straighten it out, then the metal snaps? I think it is called bending fatigue? While I’m not a paperclip, more like tempered and quenched steel, well 

something broke. And it feels very final.

I don’t know what that means entirely.